Alone?
Jun 20th, 2007 by SniperAngel
What defines alone? Am I? Or is it just in the mind?
It’s 4pm in the morning [What?]. Yet I feel so alone. I have about eighty six contacts in my messenger, more on my phonebook but it is a very lonely day. [Ikaw ba koya ay nalolongkot?]
I have lots of acquaintances in-game, for real, at church, bloggers etc. But well, acquaintances are just acquaintances and you can’t talk to them as breathing spaces. We can talk about anything you want, but when the conversation digs in to something personal it is either cut short or something.
I remember the times when I am so afraid to eat alone in fast foods I decided not to eat at all. I can live alone, I’m used to it but for a minute there is something inside me that longs for someone to be with me. Someone who is transparent and can listen.
In game I knew lots of people with their characters, but by the time the faction made an eyeball it was a different story. I mean who are these people? Same applies with the guild I am in.
It was a conflict, and I won’t elaborate it further. But the bottomline is, I’m alone. I might be wrong for some parts but well, friends. I’m just someone who appeared on the internet, nothing much. So, fine I’ll just keep myself shut. I’ll clam up. So I won’t hurt anyone, and won’t be alone anymore even if it is just superficial. I’m sorry.
I love you… I’m sorry if i cannot be there for you in the physical sense… If it were up to me, I would like to be by your side for every moment… Soon enough angel, with much faith… Remember that my love for you is as constant as every sunrise that comes, as vital as every breath I take…
Have more faith in your friends as well. It would take more than a minor misunderstanding to break friendships that have been forged with shared passions, happy memories, and mingled tears. Everything will be alright.
I love you James… I will always be here for you, so never ever think that you are alone…
you’re just in that point in your life when you just need to stop a while and ponder about what you really want. you’re never alone until you firmly believe that you are.